Howdy, Folks!
Jimmy, it’s time to run to ‘Tractor Supply’ and get yourself a new brush popper. Roberta, grab that dress you haven’t wore since you were runner up for Floria Vista prom queen (and you were homeschooled).
It’s that time of year again! Yup, the San Juan County Fair! August 5-13 at McGee Park. It’s the largest county fair in New Mexico. I’m looking forward to seeing you and hearing “I didn’t do it” while throwing up your hands a few thousand times. FYI, there are 500+ pillars of our community sitting up on Crouch Mesa (SJCDC) that tell me the same thing. I don’t believe them either.
So, here’s what we can look forward too!
Tonight 8/5 6:00pm- The County Fair Parade- Down Town Farmington
This is always a big event! We’ll have dozens of floats representing local businesses and organizations. A few politicians kiss’n hands and shake’n babies…now that may cost you a couple votes and get you arrested. And of course we’ll have plenty of candy. Watch your little ones, please. We don’t want a kid diving for a dum-dum under a float. If you’re over 16 years old, the candy is for the little kids. Go get a job and buy your own candy. Kids, you be sure to eat all that candy before you go to bed, ya hear?
Monday 8/8 - Saturday 8/13 McGee Park Fair Grounds.
Vendors Hall:
The fair opens Monday! There will be plenty to do. Vendors from a variety of businesses will be in the convention hall. Be prepared for a lot of swag! Note pads, keychains, sunglasses, koozies are just a few treasures you can pickup for nada dollars. These make great stocking stuffers or anniversary gifts. Some cheapskates sell them at their yard sales to supplement the gas prices. No one will buy ‘DJ’s Septic’ fingernail clippers for $2.00. Others use these event to grab a few school supplies for the kids. Your child will be the talk of the school carrying a ‘Hi Country Towing’ notebook with a ‘Harper Hill-Something Sexy’ sticker on it.
Food:
Can’t have a fair without food. You name it, they’ll fry it. Roasted corn, funnel cakes, BBQ. Wet your whistle with some ‘Roy’s Lemonade. You can buy a refillable cup and try to justify the cost by how many refills you and your 12 cousins will get out of it over the next week. Save the carnies some work and eat after you ride “The Hammer”. The line gets long on wristband night. The crowd gets a little impatient waiting for the ride operator to hose down your Navajo taco and curly fries you ate 15 minutes ago. If you’re look’n for a salad…..try the bunny barn. They feed them in the morning and evening. Bring your own bowl.
Live Stock-Arts-Crafts-Rodeo:
The Fair is all about showcasing the outstanding efforts of our current & future farmers, ranchers, artists, craftsmen and rodeo participants. Go to this links to see times and events: https://farmingtonnm.org/events/san-juan-county-fair
Carnival:
The carnival starts on Wednesday 8/10 through Sunday 8/14. Drop a weeks pay while attempt to win your sweety a stuffed animal. If you miss, complain how you tore your rotator cuff in the last inning of the Connie Mack World Series and it still acts up. Try throwing the hoops on the bottles instead. Maybe she’ll name that gold fish after you.
If you’re feeling adventurous take in a few rides. The sounds of screams filling the air takes us a night or two to adjust to without running to help. It’s usual some great dad who’s been challenged by his kids to ride the “Puff the Magic Dragon” kiddy roller coaster. Thinking of “puff’n the magic dragon”. This would be a good time to remind our marijuana users not to bring your sack of home grown “Tohatchi Toke Toke”. This is a alcohol and drug free event.
Concerts:
The Fair Board has booked some AMAZING concerts. Be sure to thank them when you see them.
Wednesday 8/10 8:00pm
Allie Colleen- This young lady is Garth Brooks daughter. She’s not riding on his coat tail. She’s pretty dang good!
Friday 8/12 8:00pm
Mark Wills- if you where in high school in the late 90’s you remember him! Lots of hits, lots of memories. Half of you reading this are think about the time you were up on the bluffs being convinced you could see a scorpion in the lights over looking Farmington with “Back to One” playing on KTRA. Talking about leaving this town one day. Well, welcome back! Farmington wasn’t that bad after all.
Saturday 8/13 8:00pm
Thompson Square- what more can you say? This couple is amazing. Most of us couldn’t work with our spouse.
Let’s get the verbal warning out of the way:
For those looking for trouble, we’ll have zero tolerance for it. You’ll be shown the gate or the cuffs. You can tell your new cell mates
about how you “didn’t do it”.
My deputies and I look forward to seeing and visiting with you. This is our favorite time of year as we get to enjoy the festivities with you-our friends and families. Deputies will be carrying badges for the kids. Due to current manpower struggles, a few of those children will be required to work graveyards.
Let’s have a safe and fun SAN JUAN COUNTY FAIR! Don’t forget sunscreen. It’s been hotter than fry bread grease. We’ll have our command post on the main drag if you need anything.
God bless and we’ll see you at the fair,
Sheriff Ferrari
Original source can be found here.
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